Lessons I have learned over the past 30 years-

Don't carry a pencil with the pointy end pointing into the middle of your hand.

If you do carry a pencil with the pointy end pointing into your hand and then jam it on your leg, the graphite leaves a mark that remains for at least another 24 years.

No matter how great, or how badly you think things are going, you absolutely do not know what is around the next corner.

There are pros and cons to buying a fixer-upper.

If small children, teenagers, flying rodents, mosquitoes, pregnancy related discomfort and over-active bladder, or dreams do not disturb your sleep at night, then a drunk guy calling the same wrong number three times from a pay-phone will.

Most processed foods contain flavors, colors, and/or preservatives that are made from petroleum. Eating petroleum is bad for you.

Having an almost legless dog (Welsh Corgi) will elicit comments, questions, and jokes everywhere you bring him.

Having more than two children accompany you to Wal-Mart will elicit the question, "Are they all yours?!" along with the follow-up comment, "Boy, you sure have your hands full!" at least 3 times if not in every aisle. There will occasionally be especially witty variations on these lines but most people will stick to the script.

If you think dealing with airport security and flight delays stink, next time try taking the bus.

By the time you reach the end of your next pregnancy, you will have convinced yourself, "Labor really wasn't that bad..."

Once labor begins with the next kid, you will suddenly remember, "Oh, yes, it was!"

If you compare yourself with others, you end up feeling either superior or inadequate and defeated, neither of which is good. (Superior feels better, though.)

Telling off your husband's employer is a bad idea.

If you get too many independent or foreign films in a row, your spouse will need to add a number of thrillers to the Netflix queue in order to purge his system of the artsy-ness.

The restrooms in the Dallas airport have sharps disposable containers. (This is not really a lesson, but I thought it was interesting.)

If you want to feel old and uncool before your time, adopt a teenager.